Battling the Negativity
September 1, 2006
9:12 a.m., MT

I come from a long line of negative thinkers—Scandinavians on one side and Germanic types on the other, mostly—and sometimes my entire thought pattern slumps into negativity. But that isn't my typical pattern; I prefer to think of myself as a reasonably competent individual, who mostly thinks before she acts.

But I've started to wonder if that's become a problem.

I can't tell you the number of times I've had an idea for something that's seemed like a very good idea, only to talk myself out of it. Not because it's turned out to be a bad idea ... mostly because I focus on negative possible outcomes, and allow them to stop me. For example, about a year ago I was considering investing some time and money into learning how to silkscreen t-shirts, with an eye to launching a small business catering to pro-freedom individuals and groups. I know there are lots of outfits around that do that already, but Café Press is cheap for a reason (sucky quality); and most other places I know of may not necessarily be open to printing anything a client might want. I'd researched all the aspects of the business, knew of a couple of very good prospects for business (plus having some of my own creations in mind), even had a couple of investors lined up ... and talked myself out of it. Essentially, I let some potential obstacles win.

That's not to say that if I had attempted it, I would have succeeded: I'll never know. But it grates at me that just the thought of difficulties allowed me to scuttle what could have been a fun and profitable enterprise. Maybe it's for the best—maybe I wasn't excited enough about that idea to have made a real go of it ... Maybe that's a good metric for a first cut: only the things that jazz one up enough to get past the initial onslaught of negative thinking should be pursued.

My problem is that the negative thinking returns, and returns, and returns. I get excited, push forward some, then start looking at the downsides, the challenges ... and even though I still see opportunity, I allow the possible negatives to keep me from making as much real progress as I might achieve if I just didn't think about it so much. Sometimes it's hard to tell real reasons to pause from convenient excuses, too.

In the past, I've found that when I think of myself as a person of action—when I visualize myself being effective and competent at reaching a goal—I become much more effective. Often, I don't even have to nag myself about it; it's as if my actions automatically follow my thoughts. When I focus on negatives, I wallow and am unproductive, and frustrated. When I focus on positives, I accomplish tasks, focus better, and feel happier.

I realize that to many people, this sounds all wishy-washy, airy-fairy, hippie ... whatever anti-rational descriptors you want to use. But I've had slivers of time in my life where my Inner Critic has been silent enough that the positives beam through. And the results flowed, in many ways. It was glorious. I want that back. And not just for another brief sliver, either.

These days, with bad economic news turning up just about everywhere, and uncertainty about a lot of things perfusing much of society, it's even more difficult to be positive. There are so many reasons why a venture, any venture, could fail. And they all will fail, if a person turns potential obstacles into real ones, by not even trying.

I don't know what happened to shut off the Inner Critic previously, but I'm going to try to flip that switch myself. I'm going to consciously redirect my thought patterns, away from that harsh Inner Critic and toward a can-do attitude. Instead of wondering, Can I?, I'll say, I can learn or I can improve.

Stand back, everybody!

(Deep thanks to L. and Ali for their valuable contributions to my thinking.)

Sunni

Comments: 5 people have contributed to the conversation

On Friday, September 1st, at approximately 11:16 a.m. Mountain time, Dennis Wilson said:

Hello Sunni,

Reading of your "plight" immediately caused me to remember a section of an article I recently read. Perhaps it can be of value to you. Even though there are extra words about business (which I didn't try to remove or rewrite), it can readily apply on a personal level--especially the fortune cookie bit about Dreams.

Jeffrey Tucker: Fortune Cookie Economics

Our actions to buy or sell or invest or save are always a speculation, a judgment call. Nowhere is this more clear than in the institution of entrepreneurship, about which the next fortune speaks:

Dreams are extremely important. You cannot DO it unless you IMAGINE it.

Given the forward-looking nature of the market process, and the human desire for economic development, there must be individuals who can imagine a future that is yet to be experienced, invest real resources in seeing their judgment come to pass in the production process, and thereby enjoy the rewards to come from profitability. This person is the entrepreneur-capitalist: the dreamer who imagines a possible future and then commits real resources to making that future happen.

-------
Also, you mentioned rejecting Cafe Press because you focused on what you termed "sucky quality". When I encountered Cafe Press, I saw an opportunity to focus on graphic things that interested me (something I have long wanted to do) and not get bogged down in the process of locating suppliers, silk screening, printing, iron-ons and handling payments and shipping and returns and all that clerical stuff plus a web presence --all of which prevented me from doing this project earlier. The prospect of doing all that myself was overwhelming! Different focus, different outcome.
(shameless plug: http://www.cafepress.com/ArtemisZuna).

My experience (in the event that you might revisit the Cafe Press idea) has been a gradual increase in sales (not spectacular) such that my Basic "free" shop evolved into a Premium shop with slightly more sales than needed to pay the annual fee and enough for me to take a 6 issue ad in The Libertarian Enterprise.

A bonus is that when I am not adding new designs, I can ignore the shop for weeks at a time without the business collapsing.

Perhaps my experience can move you to (re)imagine it and maybe even do it.

Best regards,
Dennis Wilson

On Friday, September 1st, at approximately 4:59 p.m. Mountain time, Monika said:

What is it about that inner critic that makes him have an enormous ego and very low self-esteem?
I've battled with the bastard myself.
All I can say is going into action against it was the best way for me to shut him up almost entirely. That, or do the dishes, vacuum the house, turn on the blender- anything to make more noise than him. And it works in the end.
Hope you can turn you attention away from bad thoughts!

On Friday, September 1st, at approximately 8:45 p.m. Mountain time, Endervidual said:

We popes (no pocket mouse) must make our decisions in the midst of a plenitude of options. In deciding, we create our worlds. Always there will be roads not taken, but that choosing; rather, that situation of having to choose (even whether to obey a command from an armed agent of the state), makes us the free beings we are.

Heavy, eh? "Hippie" ideas usually turn that way.

On Friday, September 1st, at approximately 10:11 p.m. Mountain time, James Leroy Wilson said:

I've found that whenever I've been successful at something, it was in large part due to two forces:
a) Expectation: I can do this, and it will be done. Expecting positive outcomes (which seems to me to come from the guts instead of the head - intuitive instead of rational) makes your actions feel effortless, and you give off vibes that attract people who want to help.
b) Whatever it was I wanted to achieve, I didn't want it too much; I didn't fear failure. I thought they would be good, or fun, things to do - usually they were opportunities I hadn't even thought of before. But whenever I want something too much, or attach my self-esteem to it, so that I'd be depressed if I didn't get it, doubts prop up and I over-think, try too hard, and fail - or, more often, I don't try at all.

I've also found that a command like "don't think negative thoughts" is a self defeating command. It's like, "Don't think about sex." The command itself implants the thought of sex into the mind. Likewise, the negative thought makes its presence felt, even when your purpose is to abolish it.

It's scary for a person like me who tends to rationally analyze everything, but I wonder if feeling and intuition are not superior guides for life than reason and will-power.

On Saturday, September 2nd, at approximately 8:54 a.m. Mountain time, Sunni said:

Thanks for your comments, everyone. Each has been very helpful in some way(s).

Dennis, it's okay to encode URLs; since you add value with your thoughtful comments, a "shameless plug" is fine "payment" for them. That's very different from spamming. For me, the interest was as much learning a new set of skills as it was creating stuff to sell, so Café Press doesn't meet my needs in several ways. And another of my challenges (or "plights", as you called them) is focus: I probably could succeed at any number of possibilities, but I very likely won't succeed at any unless I focus my time and resources on them in some systematic way. I don't know if silkscreening will ever fit into my life as a business, so I'm kind of hoping some other entrepreneurial freedom lover out there will see this and get excited, and launch his or her own business. Then I can patronize it for t-shirts for my truffle biz!

JLW, you amplified some of what I was trying to say very nicely. Thank you. Dr. Lenny said something about it a while back, in a somewhat different context, but I'm thinking that much of this comes down to energy, and whether one focuses one's energy toward positives or negatives. Don't have the time to expand on that right now, but perhaps in a future installment of navel-gazing ...

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