With various state legislatures tackling the "issue" of guns in the workplace parking lot again, I see the usual Repugnican apologists whining that letting workers store guns in their cars violates the companys' rights.
Let's put that argument in plain corporate English:
It has come to our attention that many employees are abusing company property. This will cease immediately.
As of this date, all employees are forbidden to consume the company's atmospheric oxygen, and likewise are forbidden to contaminate the workplace environment with the federally recognized pollutant carbon dioxide. Henceforth, all employees are required to hold their breath for the complete duration of their work shifts, and while on company property, whether on duty or not.
Your individual human rights to life are trumped by the property rights of this artificial legal entity. If you don't like it, quit. Or if you are caught consuming company air, or polluting the offices with greenhouse gases, you will be fired, without any severance package.
Those employees who attempt to skirt these rules by using medical oxygen canisters and CO2 absorbing rebreather elements must be aware that oxygen also presents a heightened fire and explosion hazard; bottled oxygen is forbidden on the same penalty of termination.
CO2 absorbers are probably pretty safe, but since you are on our property, you may not have them either.
Understand this: The company's property rights take supreme precedence over any of your human rights.
Similarly, defensive firearms will not be stored in employees' privately owned vehicles in the company parking lot. You will respect company property rights, even to the point of death.
Do not bother trying to sue the company for protection of life that we are hereby forbidding you to provide on your own. Since the courts all say that the police -- specifically charged with protecting the community -- have no obligation to protect you, our over-paid attorneys find the idea that the company should do so totally hilarious. Really- Mr. A. Chaser actually blew scotch out his nostrils when he heard this. Besides, we added it to the company handbook that you have no right to legal process.
And heads up; it has come to our attention that some of you have currently unemployed offspring. We are considering making it a condition of continued employment that you give your first-born to the company to be used at our discretion.
Well, that takes care of life and liberty. And we suppose that it also makes the pursuit of happiness moot.
God, we love the concept of company property rights.
The Overseers and Masters
When honest people speak of "rights" we are using a bit of verbal shorthand; the complete term is "human rights." Real people have rights; not artificial legal constructs.