Those of you who’ve seen me recently, or seen some recent pictures of me, almost certainly know what’s coming. While I have recognized the truth for some time, it’s been harder to talk about it publicly, for a variety of reasons—and yes, pride is among them. I’m talking about it, finally, in hopes of getting some good ideas from individuals in similar situations, and to help others avoid falling into it. In all honesty, I never thought I’d be here, but like so many others, my inattention and lack of self-control caught up with me.
Oh, I can blame my situation on hormone shifts, having had children, and probably a few other handy excuses if I were willing to try, but they don’t change reality. And the reality is this: I’ve gotten fat. Our health overlords’ metrics say so, but more damningly, my mirror says so. Pretty much all of me is thicker than it used to be, and some parts are embarrassingly jiggly. The hardest thing for me to look at, though, is my face (and that’s why I have become so leery of having my picture taken)—while it’s never been stereotypically beautiful, with a slim profile or high cheekbones, it now appears appallingly porcine to me.
I have repeatedly, half-heartedly tried to change things ... exercise more, eat less, eat more healthfully ... but I hadn’t really taken any of them seriously. And that has contributed to the current situation; I always thought that it would be pretty easy for me to lose weight. But it’s much easier to put it on than it is to take it off—and that’s something lots of individuals don’t think about much, if at all. Even recognizing it now, I still have a very difficult time sometimes with overeating. I don’t know why, but nowadays some part of my brain just doesn’t seem happy unless my stomach is perpetually full—whereas I used to be able to become so immersed in an activity that I would forget about eating for hours.
I thought that my trip would help me lose some weight, as well as instilling better eating habits, if for no other reason than the simple fact that food would not be available 24/7, and I’d be getting more exercise than I usually choose to do at home. But, even though I did eat quite a bit less (and rather better) and was more active, I was very disappointed to hop on the scale and find that I weighed about the same as when I left! Interestingly, though, I am now able to wear a pair of jeans that I had previously found too tight, so something has changed for the better. But I thought it was just a rationalization, claiming that additional exercise creates muscle mass and that’s why one doesn’t always see a drop in weight.
MAL and I had started walking before I left; but it hasn’t become an everyday habit. I’ll admit that our current heat wave makes it easy for me to duck out on it, because even in the early morning it can be uncomfortably warm for me and I have a long history of fainting when overheated. I have also been doing some spot exercises, because they firm the muscles under my flab and that helps those areas look better. So even though I’ve only been doing a little, it appears that what I’m doing is having a good effect already, by one metric anyway. That helps me keep at it; and I expect that by keeping at it, I will see more results.
The hardest aspect for me seems to be on the eating side, which is a puzzler for me as I’ve never been like this before. I’m trying to be more mindful of what I eat and whether I’m actually hungry, but it is too easy for me to grab something while I’m passing through the kitchen with my mind thinking about some project or task. And of course, when I’m making candies, “quality control” becomes a convenient justification for oversampling. That won’t be a problem for another couple of months, when it finally cools down enough for me to start accepting orders again; I should be able to find some way of handling it in the interim.
I’m not on a vain crusade to regain my youthful shape; I know those days are behind me. But I likewise know that I can be in much better physical condition than I am at present, and I really want to get there. Thus, I don’t have a final “ideal” weight in mind ... mostly I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror or a photograph without cringing. And I’d like to get there by the end of the year.
Harder to Take Off Than to Put On
Take it slow
You have to take it slow. "End of the year" may or may not be realistic. What I found to be very effective is to start by doing easy things, such as walking every day, then shift to more energetic forms of exercise, bit by bit. Instead of going on a diet, I started recording everything I was eating and weighing myself every day. My eating patterns changed by themselves after a few months of this.
Good luck.
I'll second Jorge's comment
I'll second Jorge's comment about recording data. My eating patterns tend to be much better when I (a) write down everything I eat, and (b) write down next to each thing I eat how I'm feeling before I eat it (that is, my emotion at the time and whether I'm hungry or not). I find that I tend to be more aware of when I'm eating because I'm sad or depressed or angry or bored, and then when I recognize that it's easier for me to decide some of the time not to eat.
Fat And Scales
First, I should say I've been blessed with my paternal side's body type more than my maternal side - although I'm bigger than my dad.
But inactivity over the past 8 years contrasted with an occupation that required me to walk at least some amount of distance daily "caused" me to put on some pounds. Back at the beginning of May, I set a goal to lose 25 pounds in 6 to 8 weeks, hoping to drop from 220 to 195.
I've done it before - in fact, at one point in my previous occupation where for a time I was transferred to a position that was mostly driving, I put on a lot of weight - and tried fasting for a week. Lost 25 pounds during that fast - and no, I didn't put the weight back on immediately as some will say.
But that's another story and not the point of my comment.
It is true you can't really go by what the scales say all the time. Body Mass Index (BMI) is apparently a much better method of determining fat quantities (but the best tool for calculating this is not the old "height and weight" calculation, but a device that measures using an electrical signal of some sort).
The fact you are able to put on jeans that you could not as comfortably previously is evidence of this, in spite of what the scales are telling you.
Having said that, weight is still important too. Extra weight does make the heart work harder.
I didn't meet my goal of losing 25 pounds in 8 weeks. But, I have lost 20 lbs in 10 weeks. So, now it's time to set another goal :) I think some people get discouraged when they don't meet goals - instead of just setting a new goal with the new information they have.
I don't eat "comfort food" much in the first place, so that wasn't what I had to watch much of. What I did was check out recipes from Lisa's Kitchen and substituted a lot of my "meat and potatoes" diet with bean based food.
I also didn't want to "suffer" and I wasn't totally strict with myself (probably the reason I didn't meet my goal), but rather trying to create a new habit in my mind about being concious of my goal and what I should eat to achieve that.
I didn't cut out beer or wine or completely eliminate bacon and sausage - I just ate it much less.
Then on top of that, I've been walking briskly (Briskly is the key word) three to five times a week. That way, if it's too "uncomfortable" one day, I skip the discomfort that day - but I'll still put myself through the discomfort the next day regardless of the weather. For me, 30 to 40 minutes of discomfort isn't hard to do when I can come home and have a very comfortable and enjoyable shower afterward.
The rewards for the discomfort have been pretty good! While I still haven't achieved my goal, 8 weeks later after I decided to this, even my sons were commenting on how much flatter my stomach is now! And I feel great!
I started adding some calisthenics to my routine as well (if you can call it a routine) to get some muscle tone back that I lost over the last 8 years. I don't have the ripples back... lol... but.. I feel stronger and know I look better than I did.
And for me, that's part of the key. Knowing there is improvement from last week, last month, etc. Even a small improvement is improvement and is better than what the status quo was or... worse than the status quo: adding even more fat, inches, and degrading faster as I get older.
As far as the "typical" concept of beauty, ie high cheekbones, slim profile, etc. - I myself don't usually find that "typical" to be all that attractive. Sure, sometimes it is - but it's infrequent for me.
Finally - good luck! The fact you've wrote about it, whether it's public or private is a sign that you ARE thinking about it, and making it a habit to think about :). I think that's a lot of what it's about: Habits in our thinking. I'd hazard a guess that likely it will be any additional physical activity (not casual physical activity, but that which gets your heart rate up a bit for 30 minutes or so) will be what does the most for you. As you do more, not only will the fat start to come off, but you'll likely feel better physically which I've never found any change in diet dramatically does for me like extra physical activity does.
To my mention of fasting, above: If you DO want to go on a "crash diet," researching fasting might be a consideration. Forget about what some "experts" or well meaning friends will tell you - fasting is NOT bad for you when done correctly (correctly meaning more to do with how you come off the fast). I did it once for 7 full days - yes, the first three days were hell.. the last four were... well.. amazing! And the effects of getting rid of toxins so quickly as the fat burned was long term.
I really ought to do it again sometime, but those three days of hell always set me back, thinking about them!
Student Of All, Disciple Of None
http://ianism.com
putting pants back on
You do remember that muscle tissue weighs more than fat? If you can put the old pants back on but the scale says the same thing- ta dah you burned some fat (decreased inches in the waist, or hips or both)and developed muscles (kept the weight).
BTW, Interesting stuff on fasting UpMyKilt.
Thanks
Thanks, Polka. There's quite a bit of information around on fasting. For me, it was a 100% water fast. Nothing else.
I know some "experts" and well meaning friends talk about it being "bad" and all that. I don't know for sure, but I wonder if some of the opinion is due to blood and urine tests that show some toxins in the results - but to me it seems that this is a good thing - as the fat being burned is releasing the toxins and the body is now disposing of them.
By the fourth day, I woke up after six hours of sleep feeling more energetic than previously after 8 hours sleep. Even though I hadn't consumed food for three + days, I had more energy and flexibility in my tendons and muscles as well.
I can see fasting for several days as being an undesirable activity for some ie., those who are too thin or pregnant women for example. I certainly also wouldn't go so far as to say that fasting could be a "cure all for whatever ails you" as some others have claimed either. But I do know that I felt amazing after the third day and then for quite a long time after I finished the fast.
I'm almost talking myself into doing it again! LOL.
While I think about it, I guess I have done this more than once, too. The second time was after I had my appendix out, and I didn't eat anything for about five days after the operation and consumed only liquid. I can't say I felt "amazing" during that time though! But I did lose weight and went down to a 28" waist size when being fitted for trousers.
Student Of All, Disciple Of None
http://ianism.com
A little help, please?
Thanks, everyone, for the ideas and support; I appreciate them very much. Jorge, I am barely overweight by the USSA’s BMI tables, so I don’t think an end-of-year goal is too unrealistic. I think I could lose more weight more quickly if I would simply increase my activity level, but I am uninterested in injuring myself or getting heat stroke. Besides, I need to create habits that will work when the snolfs are with me again; devoting hours to aerobics or somesuch is not going to clear that bar.
Ian, your comments on fasting are intriguing, but much like almost any weight-loss related term, I fear that googling around will lead me to much more chaff than wheat. Do you have at least an author’s name, or something similar, to help improve a search signal-to-noise ratio?
Polka, I do know that muscle weighs more than fat ... and Darlin’ Daughter was oh-so-helpful to me while we were traveling: whenever she’d get tired, she’d ask me to carry her for a bit, always adding, “You told me you want to be skinnier and this will help you get good exercise!” ... and nine times out of ten, her ploy worked. My legs definitely show some improvement from her workouts.
Minutes! Not Hours! :)
"devoting hours to aerobics or somesuch is not going to clear that bar."
While spending hours might give you the physique of a trim and fit farmer from the early 20th century, it's not needed. 20 minutes four or five times a week is probably a good "maintenance" regime for many. For me, that was easy to find. I simply cut down on reading the depression motivating and silly blogs out there :)
"Do you have at least an author’s name, or something similar, to help improve a search signal-to-noise ratio?"
Yes. I believe this book (although it looks different than the one I had - possibly a new edition) is the one I started my research with before I first tried to fast.
"whenever she’d get tired, she’d ask me to carry her for a bit, always adding,"
I can relate! This past weekend, I carried David who weighs about 45 pounds on my shoulders every night after the conert events finished. Walked several KM this way, and up hills. My leg muscles were burning! But great excercise - and David is still a "chick magnet" so there were plenty of great conversations on the way too :)
Student Of All, Disciple Of None
http://ianism.com
Fiber and less carbohydrate
I too have put on more weight then I'm happy with.
The thing that has worked best for me (and I'm starting up again) is more fiber and less carbohydrate.
Fiber helps speed the transit time of the food through your intestines and you absorb less calories. Also you feel less bloated and more energetic. I drink fiber mixed with OJ in the morning and take a "colon cleanse" capsule in the evening.
The less simple carbs goes along with what Atkins taught. I don't go through the up and down blood sugar thing that makes me want to eat so often. I don't take it as far as some folks I know who try to completely cut out carbs, I just have lots of lower carb choices available.
The exercise seems to be easier and I'm more interested in being active on this regiment.
Exercise can also make you feel less stressed which I think is a big reason people eat too much.
Here’s what I’m doing
Again, thanks to everyone for contributing ideas and information! Here’s what I’m doing for now—if it doesn’t seem to be sufficient after a couple of weeks I’ll make some mods. Portion control seems to be an issue for me, moreso than what I’m eating, so I’ve been more mindful of how much I eat, every time I eat. I am also cutting down on desserts; I hope I’ll be able to maintain my discipline when I start making candies again. I have also discovered that salads can be very tasty with a simple splash of lemon or lime juice and some salt; way fewer calories than most salad dressings, and Vitamin C to boot!
The other primary change is increasing my activity level, and doing it regularly. I’ve been walking more frequently, and trying to expend more energy while doing routine tasks. W.D., the activity does help lessen my stress; and I believe I have read that exercise itself is a mild appetite suppressant. (Also, I’ve stopped drinking sodas; that always made me feel bloated.)
I’m going to weigh myself weekly – daily has been too frustrating for me. For now, I am not going to fuss with a food diary either—just becoming more aware and questioning of what’s going into my mouth and why seems to be working so far.
And now, off to this morning’s walk!
comfort eating
Sunni, do you think you're comfort-eating? It kinda sounds like it from your description of needing the stomach to be perpetually full. I know very well what that need feels like.
Here's a question- are you sure you're not thirsty? A lot of people mistake thirst for hunger, thus snacking a lot. I make sure it's not thirst by drinking a glass of water everytime I feel like munching. Then wait a few minutes to see it the feeling's back.
I often have situations like that and once I have a glass of water I realize the relief and the fact that I wasn't hungry at all.
Of course healthy snacks (nuts, fruit, veggies,salads,etc.) are important but you've already mentioned that so no need to expand.
Can you still take walks but in the very early morning or late evening? Heat is a good excuse not to go out.
I just got an idea. Mu husband does Indian clubs for exercise.
http://www.woodenswords.com/WMA/indian_club.htm
he also made a video guide for training
perhaps you might check it out, even with MAL?
Take care,
Monika