Not Fade Away

Sunni's picture

Yow. Another large block of time away from here—completely unintended, yet utterly unavoidable.

Summer turned out to be much busier than I’d expected at the outset, leaving much less time for writing here. And as usual (and this is where the “utterly unavoidable” comes in), once I’d been away for a while, I wanted to have something “good” to return with. I had a few strong candidates, but even in the few instances where I actually sat down and began to compose a post, I lost focus and wandered off. That’ll quickly quell enthusiasm.

I’m still working through a lot of stuff. Stuff that is petulant, self-indulgent, and boring to everyone except me (and some of it is boring even to me). I find myself often unexpectedly transported to the past—sometimes pivotal moments, but equally likely just quotidian snippets from my life—and I can’t help but wonder why that memory arose, unbidden, at that moment. What does it mean? Most likely nothing, but my overly analytical self cannot accept that, especially not right now.

I have things I should be doing, but I’m not. I have things I want to do, but I’m not. I don’t know why. It’s frustrating, yet I’m not sure how to escape the pattern.

I see so many websites of people I care about that have gone dark... it worries me. Are we going through a massively mutual burnout? I didn’t intend for this place to be like that for any of you (how many are left? Three, if I’m lucky?), but I’ve never been good at coming up with chitchat.

How was your summer? What’s inspiring you these days? What are you working on now to improve your life down the road?


I have things I should be doing, but I’m not. I have things I want to do, but I’m not. I don’t know why.

That's my life! I have a copyright on that, so cut it out!


Good to hear from you. Your cactus seeds are still sitting on top of the microwave, waiting for me to put them in an envelope -- on my list of things that I should be/want to be doing, but inexplicably haven't!

Regarding dark websites, I think a lot of people try blogging for a while, and then they either try going commercial, or (more commonly) get bored with the effort and wander off to Facebook or forums. Your site is pretty unusual in having done neither, so despite the recent intermissions, congratulations on the long-term performance.

Can I change my mind on this?

Your cactus seeds are still sitting on top of the microwave, waiting for me to put them in an envelope ...

Given that the sole remaining cactus in the house has slowly keeled over in the past two months, I think it better if I not try to grow any from seed: this climate is simply not cactus-friendly.

I hope you’re doing well, my friend, and staying healthy (for reasonable values of “healthy”). I’ll send you a generous check for my infringement of your intellectual property any day now—watch your mailbox for it!

Delay is GOOD

See? Procrastination has benefits! Cactus seeds are saved from slow but certain death. :-)

(I can't grow cactus indoors either. This species survives outdoors on our porch.)

My health is improving -- thanks!

Oh, and I hereby grant you a free-of-charge license to use my copyrighted lifestyle. Although I don't really recommend it!

Dark and Light

Yes, I notice those dark sites too. But it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness, eh? One thing that keeps the three of us coming back to this friendly space is that you have a strong voice. Perhaps someday you'll run out of things to say, but I rather doubt it.

Me, I find that journaling at least once a month, which I've been doing for almost twelve years, forces me to avoid the darkness in more ways than one (it keeps me reading and thinking and reflecting and fighting for the future).

Sunni, you ask some good questions about inspiration and the planting of seeds. I think one reason that people go dark is that they feel beaten down by what's going on around them, whether that be societal or governmental or economic or familial or otherwise. I find some inspiration in reading about history, because people have faced bleak times before and come through. Humans are resilient, and despite many recent trends I think that joy and freedom and creativity will triumph and expand over time. I also find inspiration in the sheer creative force of work that so many individuals are doing in the arts, science, technology, education, and alternative societal structures or communities. There's really quite a strong ferment happening below the headlines, I think, and it's bound to break out in a big way in the next few decades.

Or so I hope...

I share your hope.

As always, thanks for contributing your thoughts. I agree: I don’t see myself running out of things to say—I just need to find a way (other than alcohol) to get my censor to loosen up some.

You are so right about humans being resilient—with even my kids asking about the near-term chances for a meltdown of the US economy, that is something very important to hold on to. I don’t need to even have ideas on how we might get through: just having confidence that we will is enough to boost my spirit. And I do want to be someone who keeps planting my seeds.

Dimness and Darkness


There is much darkness in our little blogsphere. My site is dim, at best, as I've been quite busy with a new job and new baby. I started splitting off into Facebook (in the blog capacity, mostly for outreach) then pulled back some when I had nothing to link to at my site. I went to Tumblr briefly because it was easier to post little things from a phone while out; I don't find myself behind an actual computer outside of work very often.

I was journaling pretty regularly privately and lost all time for that when Corinne was born. I expect things to settle a bit as the kids get a little older, but not much. More likely I'll find ways to better manage my time to fit this stuff in (when sleep is no longer required).

I think of those who I don't see on Facebook or at their blogs and hope for a new post. I miss when I had time to delve into deep conversations or more weighty subjects than eletoral politics. Still, I wouldn't want the blogger to feel the pressure of the blog and to create content; I'm pretty sure there are many more important things. But, whenever a post like this or anything strikes you to write, I'll be here to read it.


Murphy's Bye-Laws

Belated congratulations!

Thanks for the update, Pint: yours is a thoughtful voice I’ve keenly missed. But I do understand the time constraints on parents of young ones—as well as their allure—so I hope you’re enjoying this period of your (and their) life as it is. It changes so fast...

More than three!

So good to hear from you! This too shall pass, dear heart. As I've said a thousand times... you are much too hard on yourself!

The Price of Liberty is now a wordpress blog (same URL as always), thanks to our favorite "saint" and I'm enjoying it so far. Nathan actually contributes the most to it.

Finally found a dog and am enjoying getting him trained. He's a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, just 15 months old, and a darling. Just starting to learn to be a bit protective, but I don't ever expect him to be a fierce watchdog.

I'm still writing. One book is finished, two more almost done and two more in the early stages. Seems I got a late start and am eager to make up for lost time. :) In any case, I enjoy the writing and love my stories... so it doesn't really matter to me much what happens to them in the end. I'm happy to share with anyone who wants to read them.

Getting ready for the change of pace as winter comes here, and will probably do a lot of writing then, as well as the increasing work of editing and reviewing that I've been offered lately. All in all, I'm in no more danger of becoming bored than I ever was. :)

Welcome to my life

I attribute some of the sparse posting to the old adage: The amount of blogging one does is is inverse proportion to having a real life to live. :)

Others, notably Bill St. Clair, have tired of writing about how horrible things are from a freedom point of view and decided to start anew and focus on the good things in life.

A wise perspective

The amount of blogging one does is in inverse proportion to having a real life to live.

I like that aphorism!

Others, notably Bill St. Clair, have tired of writing about how horrible things are from a freedom point of view and decided to start anew and focus on the good things in life.

Yeah, I noticed that some time ago (checks to make sure the blogroll is updated). With the passion he put into his writing, I was amazed (and impressed) that he lasted as long as he did.

Thanks for piping up! Hope all’s well with you and yours.

Not to worry

Life happens. We have mountains and valleys - or hills and dips. Sometimes you can't stop writing, sometimes you can't start. We'll see you when we see you. Just don't feel like you have to blow us away every time - too much pressure. Just "hey, I'm here" works. It's always good to hear from you.

I have had an exhilarating and exhausting summer. After looking at our little three-acre parcel and dreaming for six years, we finally built the new house and I am typing from my new "Attic" right now. Podcasting to resume shortly.

Meanwhile, my novel about a revolution that (eventually) leads to a stateless society is finally about three-quarters done. I tried writing it in linear fashion for 4-5 years, with several starts and stops. Finally, the day after Ray Bradbury died I just launched a blog where I write a bit of it every day (well, I've had a dip or two in the daily schedule) from whichever point in the story strikes my fancy. The remaining hole in the story is the climax, so I'm a little jazzed about what I'll be writing over the next month. I hope to edit the pieces together into a novel to be released on Dec. 15, Bill of Rights Day. A little irony there, given the condition of the Bill of Rights.

I hope you don't mind if I toss in this link to that blog, ImagRev: The Imaginary Revolution.

Oh, and a second small-town newspaper has been added to my duties at the day job. No pressure there. Red is as sweet as ever and says hi. Willow, whom you've never met, is the best dog there is.

"The purpose of government is to defend the shores, deliver the mail and stay the hell out of my life." - Lee Sherman Dreyfus

Congratulations to you, too!

For the new home, the novel, and the resumption of podcasting. You are greatly missed by all three of us. Warm regards to Red.

No e-books?

I looked at your blog and would love to read some of your stuff, but I didn't see any e-books.

Are they available as pdf or some other e-format somewhere? I'm happy to pay for them, just can't afford paper - and I go through so many, so FAST!