A Spirit with a Vision Is a Dream... with a Mission

Sunni's picture

And I have a mission for 2013.

Really, it isn’t a New Year’s resolution or a goal—it’s too inchoate to be either of those, in my opinion. [Am I doing a solo semantics swing dance here?] And I’m writing about it today simply because while it’s been brewing in my mind for at least a couple of weeks, today’s the day it finally acquired its full form.

My mission is to relax and enjoy my life more, while also improving various elements of it. If those things seem somewhat at odds to you, I can assure you that they do to me as well. But I don’t think it needs to be that way; I think that a number of us make the latter into a Serious Undertaking that has just One Path which we must Follow Until Death. But what if we try to step out of that plan-and-conquer mindset, and instead allow our minds to be open to possibilities as we seek certain changes?

For example, even though my life is fairly stable and pretty good right now, I still feel a lot of stress—stress I create in my own mind and heap upon myself for reasons I don’t understand. It has been so bad at times that it has interfered with my karate training and overall health. Now that I’ve recognized this dynamic, I’m learning how to thwart it before it snowballs—and to keep it from even starting at all.

Although going primal has been very helpful to my health and body composition, sometime in October I started getting nearly obsessed with every little thing that went into my mouth. That added a lot of stress (in addition to the above—yes, I go all out, don’t I?) and a lot of negative emotions as well, which of course sabotaged my efforts to be healthier. Now that I understand that I was eating too low carb to sustain my activity level, I’m pretty sure I can relax about this and thereby see better results than when I was “cheating” and guilt-tripping daily.

What steps will I take to get to where I want to be? Good question.

How will I know when I’ve arrived? I have no idea.

Am I going to make any specific changes to what I’m doing now? Sure; but I’m not fixed on any, and whatever I try will almost certainly change.

So what’s the point of yammering about all this? To help me articulate my thoughts and ideas. To provide a marker and reminder of where I am today, at the start of 2013. And I hope to help jog others who might be in similar places, yet unable to find a way out of their own thought patterns.

I think that by relaxing—about training; about what I eat; about my work—I’ll be more open to recognizing what’s working well and what isn’t working. I’ll be better able to be more mindful of my own patterns and choices, as well as opportunities that come my way.

I guess that’s all I really needed to say: I’m going to be more mindful. So many things seem to come down to that...

For those whose mind is itching over my title, consider it scratched:

(Link to vid on YouTube)

Control Freak

Let's hear it for the battle against self-induced stress! I find it affirming to my prior-revealed beliefs about control and freedom that it is the desire to control so much of what happens around me that stresses me out. I already believe it is impossible, but I continue to try nonetheless, especially as a parent to a 2.5-yr old. Ironically, it takes nearly as much work to consciously avoid that part of our nature than to embrace it and struggle to control. This is where faking it until you become it can be applied quite nicely.

That felt good to write down. Hadn't fully constructed that before, though I started with resolutions for myself last night and danced around it.

Have a peaceful year, Snakey One.


Murphy's Bye-Laws

Ah, the wee bairns.

They certainly provide lots of opportunities for growth, don’t they? I hope your family is thriving.

I find it affirming to my prior-revealed beliefs about control and freedom that it is the desire to control so much of what happens around me that stresses me out.

Sing it, brother! And thank you for helping me to see the linchpin of my ramblings above: Having a very specific goal in mind can be its own kind of control, which can produce a lot of stress. If I tell myself that I need to increase my income stream by X% over the next three months and implicitly think I’ll have to stick with what I’m already doing, that puts an unnecessary constraint on the goal—one which is limiting at best and at worst, impossible to achieve. But if I open my perspective to include more possibilities—doing different kinds of work, obviously; or even accepting goods or services in barter, which frees up the FRN flow already in existence to go toward other things—there’s much less stress and a higher chance I’ll succeed. Nice.

And yeah, the “fake it till you make it” idea dovetails in here nicely, too.

Hail Eris! PoS Murphy's

Hail Eris!


Murphy's Bye-Laws

So glad for you!

I'm so glad to see this happening for you, Sunni. I went through so much of that when I came here and understand that letting the stress go can be as difficult as the struggle with the former stressors!

Accepting ourselves as worthy of life and love, and letting go of all the self defeating nonsense - even self hate - taught to us over the years, is essential to this process. You are a most worthy person, and deserving of your own acceptance no matter what.

Sending you positive energy every day. :)

All that I know is...

What steps will I take to get to where I want to be? Good question.

How will I know when I’ve arrived? I have no idea.

Paint your wagon, and come along.


Best wishes on your journey, and Happy New Year!

Only if ...

... Clint Eastwood isn’t around to sing.

All the best to you, my friend!