Email to my eddress at this domain seems to be working again, and predictably, the first hint I had of its resurrection was spam. I guess I shouldn't say "predictably", since I don't get a lot of spam. The volume did go up when I posted my eddress when making a comment on this site. You'd think lawyers would be used to providing lots of fine print, but they neglect to tell folks that giving an eddress is optional.
Bad news is that whatever email had been sent to me here since the snafu started has apparently been lost in the black. So if you sent me anything from Wednesday on, please re-send it at your convenience, and I'll do my best to stay on top of business. Thanks to all who kept in touch during this problem, and extra-coily thanks to the special friend who set me up -- unasked -- a POP account on his server. I will make use of it, but that'll need to wait for a bit.
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Last night as I was drifting between awake and asleep, I had a very good idea for my Freedom Summit talk. I fleshed it out a bit in my mind, paying enough attention to leave me certain that I'd remember it this morning. Didn't happen. It's lost in the black of my mind, apparently. I'm hopeful it'll revisit me, in a form at least half as powerful as the original idea.
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Anybody else sucker-punch themselves? For about a month I've known about an impending change in my personal life that I'm dreading. It wasn't a certainty -- but had a high enough probability attached to it that it was wise to consider it a certainty. So why, when the peg was officially moved to 100% this morning, did I feel like my legs had been knocked out from beneath me? Guess I'm more of a softy, or a hopeful fool, than I knew ... or I need some things from others more than may be smart, but I don't seem to be able to help that. I'm not trying to be a drama queen here -- I certainly don't hold these Modest Mouse lyrics as truth: "if life's not beautiful without the pain/ well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again" -- but, truth be told, things are looking blacker in my future than they have in a long time. And call me silly if you want, but I just don't care for that much.
Into the Black
Brad Spangler says:
Mysterious and sad, that last part.
One of the things that helps me through times like that is dark and bitterly cynical comedy -- stuff like Dennis Leary's "No Cure for Cancer". The painful and raw honesty of it seems reassuring in its own way, yet more acceptable than pablum and platitudes could ever be.
William's Dad says:
We've been going through the uncertainty of our future, especially difficult when you've got children.
Can't let fear overcome action. Put that negative emotional energy to positive action.
The best advice I've gotten from my Mom at 79 -- is not to worry, it doesn't do any good.
Hang in there Sunni.
"...with illusions of someday cast in a golden light no dress rehearsal , this is our life."
'Ahead by a Century'
The Tragically Hip
Jorge says:
What William's Dad said. And don't forget that you have friends. Use them. It is what friends are for.
--jorge
Happy Curmudgeon says:
What Jorge said. If there is anything I can do, just ask.
Scott says:
Fly a model rocket. Something inherently cheerful about it.
http://www.artapplewhite.com/13mmdelta.pdf
Ian Scott says:
Sunni - the propensity to give advice is universal - the propensity to ignore advice is equally universal :)
So.. as mysterious as what you have written sounds, I won't give you advice.
Today.. err.. just before it turned midnight, it was Thanksgiving Day in Canada. I was thinking about that, and I came to the conclusion that I REALLY AM thankful for the trials and tribulations and dark days I've had in my past.
And I've had more than a few of those "dark days of the soul." Even black ones - completely black, it seemed. Today, I am seriously thankful for them. I wrote a bit on my blog about this actually.
I also dread future ones - for I have no idea what they will entail, but I am pretty sure I will be needing to learn something when they occur.
This of course may not be helpful to YOU, today. I know that. And although we don't know each other very well, feel free to email, talk, or whatever. I highly respect you, and sometimes, even I know from experience, sometimes it is easier to discuss something with someone far away before with friends. Not always.. only you know what is right for you.. but the offer is there.
Wolf DeVoon says:
:) Sympathy and best wishes, ma'am.